Lack of Motivation

I am so freaking tired. So so so tired. I think it's my allergies. Taking an antihistamine barely helped today.

Which leads me to my lack of motivation. I'm tired! Who wants to work out or watch what they're eating when they're tired?? It's so nice out today - cool, but so sunny - and I really want to take Molly for a nice long walk, but do I have the motivation? I better find it somewhere!

Yesterday John and I took Molly for a 3 kilometer walk. It was really nice! I'm hoping to do either 4 or 5 tonight though. I don't think John wants to go on super long walks, and he plays hockey tonight and tomorrow night, so I might as well take advantage!

But, I have to get the motivation up. Argh!

 

Official Weigh-In - Week #15

Wow, fifteen weeks into the new year - where has the time gone? I guess it's almost time to stop calling it the new year!

As you can see, I've stopped going by official weigh-ins. I've skipped a few, and it's mighty confusing for me! It's the 15th full week of the year, so I'll go with that.

I didn't weigh yesterday, and here's why: I was scared. I honestly thought I had been so lazy, and ate so much that I would be back in the 200s, and I didn't want to face it. But, I sucked it up this morning, and did a weigh in.

Sunday, April 1 - 198.5 pounds

Monday, April 16 - 198.5 pounds

Well, at least I didn't gain! Thankfully, because of one awesome week, I'm only behind 2 pounds for my goal on June 3 of 182.5 pounds. Now, I just need to kick my ass into gear! MK and I had been texting each other our calorie goals, and at the end of the day, sharing how we did. It forced both of us to track what we were eating, and I know we both found it helped...until we stopped doing it. This week, we're going to work really hard on getting back on track with it, because we both saw large successes with it before. I just need to take a bit, and see why the heck I've been letting myself get back into a rut. It makes no sense. I know that I can be successful if I try, but then I stop trying and get mad when I can't lose or when I gain.

Anyways, back to work. Hopefully I can kick my own ass (and MK can too!) and this week will be good!

Have a great week everyone! Keep it STRONG!

 

Appreciation

I love to feel appreciated.

Today, we got our yearly raises. I always assumed that they were "cost of living" increases, but all these years, I have been wrong. They are called "merit" raises, based on your performance, and your yearly evaluations.

This year, I get 5%. Doesn't seem like a lot, but when teachers are going on strike because the government won't give them 3%, it's pretty big.

Funny part is: the rest of the branch is only getting 3%. I get extra because I go "above and beyond" what is expected.

Frick yeah!

Feeling pretty awesome right now!

 

 

Wednesday AM Quickie

Just a quick post.

This morning I weighed in at 198.5 pounds. On Friday of last week I was 196.5 pounds, but after Easter weekend...well, you know how that went for most of us. I'm glad to have only gained 2!

I checked on my goal. I have this weigh-in on Sunday, and 8 more, and 16 pounds to go to make my goal. Thankfully, I kicked butt on one week and lost 4.5 pounds, meaning that I only have to lose about 1.5 pound per week until June 3. Now, to get my butt in gear and actually start losing!

I was planning on walking to work since I am way behind on my 100km in April challenge, but I woke up late. I actually only had about 4 minutes to write this post. I haven't done any workouts yet, but I have been so busy trying to get my house in order. It's so annoying living with boxes everywhere!

Oh, and I think I forgot to share the best news. We accepted an offer on our place in FSJ on March 31. I was always sure it would sell in March, I just wish we didn't have to wait until the last day! The guy has until April 18 or 19 to meet all of the conditions, and then it will be out of our hair, and we will have some money to fix up this place how we want it! Yay!

Anyways, I think I'm at my 4 minute limit. Can't be late for work today - the big boss is coming (my boss's boss). Whoopie [insert sarcasm font here].

Post-Easter Breakdown

No, not that kind of breakdown. I actually had a pretty good Easter!

 

But I can just imagine how my weight loss has gone. I was 196.5 pounds on Friday morning. Now, not so sure.

 

I'm skipping weigh-in this week, and going for next Sunday. We'll see how I am on the 15th.

 

Hope you all had a hoppy Easter!

Official Weigh-In #13 {a few days late}

Finally! A better mood! I actually kicked the bad mood yesterday, but I didn't get a chance to blog. I fell asleep on the couch at like 8:30 last night! I guess the hockey game just wasn't interesting enough to keep me awake!

So, who wants to hear about my awesome week 13 weigh-in?!

Sunday, March 25 - 202.5 pounds
Sunday, April 1 - 198 pounds
Yep, that's a loss of 4.5 pounds!

Pretty freaking awesome, right?? Yep, it is. I'm so excited to say that I am out of the 200s! It does suck that it is right before Easter - my favourite holiday! Oh well. No chocolate for me this year! Unless it's small quantities of the dark stuff!

I also told you that I was going to make a couple of April goals. Here they are:

• Continue with vegetarian Wednesdays
• To do 16 dvd workouts - 4 per week - which I am already behind in!
• To walk 100km - approx 3km per day - I'm also behind in this, but I will be walking to work soon, and that's 2km each way. 

A few simple goals. Of course, my goal of 2 pounds per week is still happening. This week so far, not so much, but with 4.5 last week, I'm already ahead! Just have to stay there.

This weekend is going to be tough. We are heading to FSJ for 3 days. That means 3 days of eating out for most meals. I am going to try my hardest to be diligent with it, and not eat the most fattening thing on the menu, but I will be honest. I am going to Wendy's and I am going to eat whatever I want. One meal, whatever I want. But also, we are bringing Molly, so she will still need to go for walks, so I'll be able to get in some good exercise because it's much nicer in FSJ than here! (We're expecting snow today - there's actually a snow warning - when is it going to end?!?)

Anyways, off to work! Yesterday was better, let's just hope today was better than yesterday!

Am I?

It's been brought to my attention that I might be too hard on myself. Could it be true? I don't know!

I had a screw up at work, and I don't want to get into too much detail because I'll just get frustrated and insolent again, but it may cost us quite a bit of money. And all I can feel is stupid. I made a stupid mistake, and now I feel like an idiot. My boss wasn't mad at all, just said "shit happens" and moved on. Me, I'm freaking out.

I have been programmed by my former AGI boss to expect perfection, and I won't take anything less. In FSJ, when you screwed up, even the tiniest bit, you were reprimanded, usually with him having a freak fit at you. So, I've come to expect nothing less. I chide my co-worker because he screws up all the time, and it's never anything nearly as large as what I did.

He's the one who told me I'm being too hard on myself.

So, I started thinking. Maybe, yes, I am too hard on myself. But how do you stop that? I'm sure that's part of why I overeat and eat things I know are bad for me. It's got to be. But how do you stop the cycle?

This thing at work happened yesterday, and might take a couple of weeks to resolve. If I'm feeling like this for the next few weeks I'm going to go right insane!

But the worst of it is that I can't even tell my husband. I feel too ashamed to admit that I'm not perfect. I know that I'm not, in life in general, but at work, I'm usually aces. Like, I may mess up, but it's small things. This is a big thing. Nothing to mess my job up about, but I can't get it out of my head.

It sucks. I slept very poorly last night because of it. Kept having weird dreams. Good news is that I didn't overeat too badly last night, and I managed to walk quite a bit with Molly. Down another little bit, so that's a helper. At least my personal life isn't suffering so far.

I will get to my weigh in from Sunday. It was such a good one, but I want to be in a good mood when I write the post. Maybe later today I'll feel better. I want to write the post because I feel so good about it, but I don't want my negativity to be in the forefront of the post.

Ok, off to work. Yay (enter sarcasm).