Monday, February 21, 2011

Another Frustration

So, today started out really well. Food's been awesome today. I think I should come in under 1400 calories for the day! As long as I can keep to the plan, that is. But, as for working out, it hasn't been good at all.

I was supposed to meet my mom for a walk today like normal. I was early into town, so I stopped in to see her before I hit the track to kill some time. All she could talk about was herself! I got so pissed. She was like "I'm going to walk 25 laps, I don't care what you do, but I'm walking 25 laps. When I was walking 25 laps I was doing the best, and I need to lose those 3 pounds that I gained" and just went on and on about herself. It was frustrating. I mean, look at me! I've gained back like 12 pounds since before Christmas, and obviously, I need help. It's not like she doesn't know I'm having problems! When I get the chance to talk when we're together, I talk to her about how I'm gaining and I can't find a way to motivate myself again, and she just ignores it. She gains a few measly pounds, and that's all she can think about. I'm 195 pounds again and all she can talk about is her 3 pounds to get her back down to 173!

And now I'm bawling because I'm so frustrated.

And poor John tried to help, and all I do is snap at him because I'm so mad. I've been getting annoyed with my mom for a while because she's not supporting me at all, and I don't want to seem selfish, but when all she can think about is her own goals, I don't know what to think. I need help! Seriously. Like, I only walked for about 40 minutes, and I doubt that I'll work out again tonight unless John and I do something. It's just so bad. I thought when I quit my job I'd be able to get back on track, but I obviously need some help.

And now I feel like I'm whining. I'm going to go cry some more now. God, I hope this stop soon. I can't handle much more of this.

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